ETIQUETTE TO OBSERVE DURING CLASSICAL MUSIC CONCERTS

Today, I'm going to draw your attention to certain classical concert etiquette - some do's and don'ts to observe so that you wouldn't be a nuisance. Remember these concerts are not like Pop concerts, Dancehall concerts or Gospel Rock Shows where people come to sweat and show off "fooling skills". After reading this article, you'll understand why certain people looked at you with piercing stares after exhibiting your ignorance. I'll try to tackle all aspects of the traditions of classical concerts. Read on attentively.

1. Don't Bring Your Cry Babies

Leave those babies and toddlers at home or just stay at home. Babies will distract the musicians with their high shrilled evil annoying cries just because they don't care where they are and who they disturb. Moreover, think of the uncomfortable position you'd put people in when you start to breastfeed your baby. In fact, do not breastfeed in the concert hall. DON'T. DON'T. I SAID DON'T. Toddlers may seem quite matured to attend concerts but trust me, they are not. They will piss you off and you'd be forced to yell at them and it's unpleasant to the audience around you.

2. Muffle Your Coughs

Why not go for a check up? You may be infected with a flu or tuberculosis. Get it treated before you attend a concert. If there is nothing wrong with you, sit down, discipline yourself and shut up with your damn coughing. During a performance of "Tristan und Isolde" in Dallas, a man kept on coughing and Jonathan Vickers who was playing the part of Tristan yelled at the man, "Shut up with your damn coughing". Just save your self the embarrassment and muffle your cough.

3. Regulate Your Clapping

Honestly, I blame this indiscipline of uncontrolled clapping on the Charismatics. Charismatic Churches have moved from the orderly manner of services to entertaining unnecessary outbursts and such habit has extended to the concert halls. There are parts of a concerts that allow for clapping. Mainly, before and after a concert. Now, other parts are, during an intermission or after an aria or chorus has been splendidly rendered. That means it won't make sense to clap after a recitative. Also, claps during intermissions should be brief. Also, wait till the conductor puts his arms down totally before you even think of clapping.

4. Switch Off Your Phones

Turn them off. Do not even put it on vibration. Just switch it off. The sound of mobile phones irritate audiences and distracts musicians. The most annoying thing is that, those whose phones ring are the China Phone users. Someone might suggest that you put it on silence, but don't forget the network can give a noisy feedback. What about putting the phone on flight mode? No, think of alarms or reminders. If you feel you have important phone calls to answer, don't attend a concert at all. Enjoy your calls instead.

5. Standing Ovation Is Very Necessary

After the performance of the oratorio, "Joseph and His Brethren" by Harmonious Chorale, there was a standing ovation and a lady behind me asked me to sit because I was blocking her view. I guess it was her first time at a concert so I was a bit considerate while bashing her. Never tell anyone to sit during a standing ovation unless you are the MC. I could have punched that lady in the head but I'm a gentleman. I don't hit women.

6. Wanna Be Photographers, Turn Off Your Camera's Flashlight

Actually, organizers of concerts hire their own photographers and they are in charge of taking photos. But if a busy body like yourself wants to take a picture, turn off the flashlight of the camera at least. The musicians shouldn't suffer because of your willingness to do the job of ajournalist.

7. Do Not Talk

Many concert halls use sound systems that aid acoustic instruments in a way that the slightest piano dynamics of the harp can be heard. When you talk, you can be heard by others. Even whispering is not good enough. But hurray, there is a solution to that. And do you know what it is? ................. SHUTTING UP!!! Save the chat for later. You can spill out all your gossips after the concert.

8. Don't Hum Or Sing Along Unless Directed By The Conductor

You are at the concert to watch and listen and not to perform. No humming and no singing along. Other concertgoers find this irritating and annoying. You can get a recording of the concert later and hum as loud as you want in your house.

9. Do Not Sleep

Please don't do this especially if you snore like a monster. Keep awake. No matter what. Stay awake during the concert.

10. Do Not Hoot, Shout or Cheer During A Concert

That is why we call it a classical concert and not a pop concert. You are expected to behave like a lady or lord. Not that it is a rule, but it is something that should fit the occasion. Shouting unnecessarily would just make people speak ill of you.

Observe these classical concert traditions and your life will never be the same again. You can add more in the comment section and don't forget to share.