15 KINDS OF CHORISTERS

Harmonious Chorale. Photo Credit: Choral Music Ghana

I'm a chorister. You may be one too or you may know one. Each chorister is unique in their own way and their idiosyncrasies combines to make the choir either interesting or not. I categorized these unique characters and I believe we will relate quite well and mention names. Originally, I wanted to limit this article to just 10 but I realized there is so much to write and read about.

1. The Talkative

This kind of chorister is surely a tenor singer. Rehearsal is actually his talking period and won't let the music director have peace. A duct tape is the ultimate solution to silence them.

2. The One Who Nags at Every Little Error

This chorister is very annoying and if you are one, I'm putting it to you: YOU ARE SUPER ANNOYING. Surprisingly, they take this character to stage and you can even hear their murmuring through the sound system.

3. The Super Model

There is this chorister who will always dress like he or she is going for a beauty pageant. If you dress better than him or her, you'll surely be imprisoned. Take it easy on them. That makes them feel comfortable. And whether you accept it or not, you are captivated and attracted to them.

4. Creator of The Best Ad Libs

Some choristers especially some soprano singers are excellent when it comes to ad libs and they even take pitches to the highest degrees - PUN INTENDED. In your closet, you cry because you know you can't imitate them. I understand. People kill themselves to be like Cecilia Bartolli and it's nothing new.

5. The Early Bird

These guys really surprise me. It makes me wonder whether the choir master has a special package for those who come early. Well, I admire their punctuality and if all choristers were like them, choirs will be better than they are now.

6. The One Who Wants To Be Heard By Everyone

Seriously, keep it down. The audience is listening to the choir and not you as an individual.

7. The Singer That Wants To Sing Everyone's Part

Naturally, there is that singer that picks the interesting phrases in the parts of the piece tries to sing it making the piece five part harmony rather than four part harmony. Please. Stop it. Concentrate on yours. You'll be fine.

8. The Laughing Jackal

Laughing indeed makes the heart healthier. This kind of chorister is probably an alto singer who sits at the back and mostly likes to hang out with the tenor guys. Giggling and grinning at anything, anytime and everywhere. One thing is, their laughing is extremely contagious.

9. The Emotional Chorister

This type can be really dramatic and it is so amazing how they can draw the attention of the audience at a concert to themselves. They cry during the part that has largo and pianissimo dynamics and minor chords and they show their neatly arrange teeth(that looks like excel spreadsheet) with pieces in allegro and forte dynamics and major chords

10. Imperfect Pitcher

I don't understand how but some people just can't sing the notes they are told to sing. Annoyingly, their voices are even louder and irritating. They are not able to know when the notes they sing are wrong.

11. The Omni-Religious

Fortunately, the choir would still be a better place without them. They tend to make the choir their prayer camp and they always wish to use more than half of the rehearsal time for their unnecessary long prayers. There is a reason why prayer and singing are two different things.

12. The Music Director's Enemy

This chorister is naturally an enemy to the music director simply because he or she is not willing to humble himself or herself. There isn't a day that there won't be a quarrel because this chorister is a torn in the flesh.

13. The Staff/Solfa Wizard

Yeah. These guys make teaching music very easy. If every singer in a choir could read staff or solfa notation, a whole oratorio can be learnt in a day.

14. The Ground Bass Chorister

Some talented bass singers are able to sing really low registers. They can sing an octave lower simultaneous to any original bass line. Even when they are not singing an octave lower, you can still feel the heaviness and vibrations of their voice. Kennedy Dankwa, I see you!

15. The Time Reactive Chorister

The final one is the chorister who is always waiting for the closing time. I wish there was no closing time for rehearsals because without it, rehearsals would be more effective. Sincerely, those who cry that time is up are the ones who need more music training and their kind of choirmaster is the stern type.

We've seen the various types of choristers that we have and I believe you can relate this post to some real people or probably yourself. If you know any other kind of chorister, kindly post it in the comment box below. Follow my new Twitter handle by clicking on The Black Handel. Keeping checking for more posts.